Hope those sniffs were worth it…

Alliance, Ohio – An Ohio man has been sentenced to nine years in prison for stealing underwear from more than 20 women in a series of home break-ins going back to 2006. Thomas Williams, 25, pleaded guilty Wednesday to 11 felonies, including nine burglary counts. He also pleaded guilty to misdemeanor voyeurism.

Holy shit! Nine years for stealing some panties? Damn that seems aggressive. I mean, my buddy JR once stole a girl’s thong from our college laundary room…should he get locked up? Then again, he did use it as a reason to knock on her door later that night and literally say, “Excuse me, but is this your thong? I found it in the laundry room and I knew it could only belong to your beautiful ass.” He then proceeded to steal her other panties…the ones she was wearing. (I mean, c’mon…what’s sadder? The fact that he actually used that deutschebag line, or the fact that it worked? What an asshole……….fuck, I wish I had thought of that line.)